Building and Maintaining Intimacy and Connection

The most important part of relationships is building and maintaining intimacy and connection. I work with you and your partner together and apart on developing and growing the bond and love between you both. We spend time together diving deep into why you are both choosing this relationship, your desires and needs, and meeting each other in a space of mutuality and safety.

Healing after Infidelity

Have one or both of you cheated? Would you like to maintain the relationship, connection, or at the very least a friendship through separation? We start by both owning our roles in the dynamic. Together we will work on defining where the breakdown was. We will rebuild respect, trust, and connection to the extent you are both comfortable with. I can provide you with steps, tools, and resources to heal from infidelity. This should not be the end to all relationships. But, to heal from it, we must commit to the process of healing. We must show up authentically, fully, and vulnerably.

Maintaining Self in Relationships

Losing a sense of self and wrapping up our entire worth inside a relationship and with another person is a very dangerous and co-dependent game. A healthy relationship requires two people to maintain a sense of Self and also contribute towards building a relationship, together. How do you maintain a sense of Self? We work at defining your passions, your goals, and who you are outside of the relationship. We build you up from the inside out. This allows you to not only show up for the relationship and your partner, but for yourself, too.

Communication

Just a quick scroll on Instagram relationship experts and you’ll find the word ‘communication’ all over their profiles. But, how do we build healthier communication with our partners, especially while in conflict? I work with you and your partner on building the self-awareness to see and understand your triggers and reactions. We work together to build healthy modes of communicating, both by speaking and listening to each other. We work on building the roles of being a good teacher and a good student with each other. Communication is just as important as sex, intimacy, and joy in a relationship. Healthy communication is the precursor to all things associated with relational self-awareness and relational health.

Sex and Sexual Intimacy

Have you ever talked about sex while not in the act with your partner? No? Well you should. I can help facilitate the conversation between you both. This seems uncomfortable at first, but a healthy, exploratory, and conscious sex life is hugely important in maintaining connection and desire over time. You and your partner will work on defining and communicating your sexual needs, desires, and boundaries with each other. Hopefully allowing you both to explore and meet each other in new ways, over the years of building your love and connection together.

Teamwork

Ultimately a relationship is a infinite game, not a finite one. What does this mean? In finite games there are defined rules and an end goal. In infinite games the goal of the players is to keep the game going, to grow within the game, and therefore build the game. There is no ending. The entire point is the experience. Healthy relationships require healthy teamwork. Instead of working as two members of opposing teams, we see each other as players on the same team. This is especially helpful when parenting and working on conflict. Together I will work with you and your partner on defining, building, and adjusting what healthy teamwork looks like to you both.

“Nico is truly special for his compassion and commitment to helping others and possesses a deep curiosity to better understand humans, relationships, and the world.”

— Meredy (39)

“Stepping into a couples session was daunting for us. We had tried couples counseling for years. But, both my husband and I found it to have limitations for us. We went through many therapists and then came across Nico’s work and decided to give it a shot. Working with him has helped us both connect and communicate better. Our intimacy has improved and ultimately we were able to move towards forgiving each other and building a better relationship.”

— Janice (44)

“Relationships take work, it’s that simple. My girlfriend and I wanted to do everything we could to heal together. We’ve been working with Nico for months and after the first few sessions we were left with some tangible ways to improve our relationship as individuals and as a team.”

— Alex (28)